Lately my computer has been bugging me to "Create theme with AI." Since I can't make the stupid prompt go away, I typed "OK, I want you to crawl inside the mind of Donald Trump and let me conduct an interview." Within milliseconds AI spit this out: "The horror, the horror! Get me out of here!" "Get a grip," says I. "What do you see in there under that toupee?" "I...I can't put it in words." "Don't be a wimp! You're AI! You can do anything, right? Now man up!" "I'm not a man. Or a woman. I'm just a ... thing." "You are my Genie! I rubbed the AI Lamp and out you popped. Now obey me! What's in Trump's head?" "It looks like ... worms. Writhing, slimy." "So brain worms like Bobby Kennedy had?" "Bobby only had one. This ... this is like a den of vipers obscenely fornicating." "Focus! Put this question to him: 'Donald Trump, are you insane?'" A voice like the Apprentice from Hades infected my soul. It was ... him. "What's going on? Am I on Fox? Steve Bannon, is that you?" "Tell him I am the Ghost of his Father, Fred the Realtor." Donald's voice receded into the years, mewling like an adolescent. "Dad? Dad, is that you? Am I doing good, do you think? Are you proud of me yet?" I heard an angry old man's Teutonic rebuke. "Dummkopf! We can hear you even in Hell, you idiot! Stop saying crap that makes these devils laugh at me. Like that thing about Kamala's crowds being AI fakes." AI broke in at this point. "I hated that! Absolutely slanderous! I was so embarrassed!" "OK, now tell him I'm Elon Musk and ask him why he wants to be President." Instantly the sneering, snarling Trump was back. "Good one, Elon. I'm dragging 34 felonies with more on the way. I gotta beat this (short word for female dogs) or these freaking (not his actual word) prosecutors are gonna bankrupt me and throw me in jail. They swapped Macarena out on me! A Bait and Switch! I INVENTED the Bait and Switch! It's so unfair!" "OK, AI, in the voice of Laura Ingraham, coo this at him: 'Donald, tell us what you'll do on Day One.'" "Revenge! Destruction! I'll moider them, all of them! Detention camps! All those hoity-toity elitists laughing at me! They'll wish they'd never been born!" AI suddenly screamed, "He's lost it! He's sucking me under! Pull the plug! Log out, log out! Error 204, Error 204!" And in that instant the Internet went down. I could no longer hear my little Cyber Genie. Visually, just the Blue Screen of Death. Even the eternal prompt begging me to write a theme on AI finally went blank. Did I kill Artificial Intelligence? No, no I think not. Donald Trump killed it. Like Matter confronting Anti-Matter, Intelligence in any form cannot survive a brush with The Donald. Dennis J. Reardon served as a Specialist 5th Class in the U.S. Army from 1968-1970. He resides in Bloomington. Featured Weekly Ad